If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
