Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
