hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Randomize