I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
