Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
