I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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