adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
