TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
