So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
