You really coming over, don't trick.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
