everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
