Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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