Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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