K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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