sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
