the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
