I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
