the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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