we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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