oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
