sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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