i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize