Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
