How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you are never too drunk for berry picking
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize