Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
