Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
