a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
