his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
