just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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