Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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