i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need to sanitize my soul.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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