I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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