Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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