Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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