You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
