I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When did angry sex become our thing?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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