Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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