does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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