do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
