coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize