I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize