im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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