I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
