so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
