party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
