Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
