Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
