i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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