I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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