Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
