Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
