Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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