I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We need to rekindle our bromance
only you would photoshop your dick
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have tasted many bathrooms
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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