This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
