i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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