Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
