'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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