When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
