Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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