ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
