Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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