we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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