How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
