Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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