it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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