Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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