I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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