is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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